Every Time You Close Your Eyes

Bruce Springsteen posed the question: "Is a dream a lie if it don't come true - or is it something worse?"

This won't be another one of my "Boss Time" posts, don't worry, but that quote will serve as a sort of driving mechanism for my thoughts in this entry.

I think it's time I come clean with my many fans of this blossoming blog.

It is a major source of pride that I am 24 and still hold onto the base ideals I had when I first started to understand what it meant to be political, philosophical, or adult. Despite all this, I find flaws in my beliefs. I find inconsistencies. I'm not all that deterred in these faults, because I sure don't have all the answers on humanity - nor does Barack Obama, Rush Limbaugh, Oprah Winfrey, Elizabeth Hasselbeck, or even Bruce Springsteen.

I don't much want to get into my personal politics at this juncture, but I'll give you a taste of one of my major beliefs - and a clear admission that it's unrealistic: Pacifism. I am a pacifist.

Since pacifism won't grab the planet by the horns any time soon, I'm going to have to come grips with the fact I am going to die in a world that doesn't adhere to pacifism. I'm no Gandhi, but I've always dealt with notions of grandeur when I think of myself and my inevitable death. I blame TV. And Sergio Leone.

So, since I'll die and there will still be war raging in far and near corners of Earth, is my dream a lie?

Or is it something worse?

In my example (pacifism), it's just a lie. It's not worse because it's such a sweeping dream. It's a good dream, it's just out of reach for the foreseeable spectrum of time, however.

What about the people that dream for the first woman president in their lifetime? How many millions of Americans will never see that happen?

How many, born into extreme poverty, dreamt of getting one, legitimate chance to make their lives better?

How many, irrespective of income level, dreamt of getting a second chance? That's a good, honorable, and deserved dream, isn't it?

These are worse than lies.

So I'm young, getting into a career-type situation, and still full of ideals. But there's a force against them - and my dreams. I have encountered the jaded. The ill-intentioned. The opposition. I may (or hope to...) remain stoic outwardly, but my desire has waned slightly. I liked the protection that being an undergraduate offered. I had wonderful professors and mentors that saw to it that I go after exactly what I wanted. They had their beliefs in me - so they have to have belief in themselves, right?

Now we come to the crossroads.

Of course I'm going to delve deeper into this system before me - one that is throwing pitfalls at me, but in what manner do I do it? Will I remain on the path of irritation, or cut a slightly different path before me to seek a higher road?

How jaded do I allow myself to become? You've got to have the right combination of ideals and pessimism, I feel, to get anything of substance accomplished. This is where pragmatism and practicality come into terrific use: know the limits of your own desires.

The goal should probably look something like this: be able to live your life with your ideals in tact, but have an understanding of what our society will allow, and in what increments.

There must always be someone to carry the torch, though. Within this contingent of pragmatists, there need to be idealists that remind us to forget that we are dealt lie after lie after lie every time we close our eyes.

Scott.

"Rebellion (Lies)" by Arcade Fire