Keep The Fire Burnin'

Ah these are the days. I sit at home and type about the same old stuff over and over. I might even pull in a few new readers every once in a while...I'm going to try and put a new spin on my "forward thinking" mantra this time - and I promise to start expanding to different topics. 

I'm in a funk and I'm pretty mad about it. It's ridiculous. Things are going quite well for me but - as a great man has said - "...poor man wanna be rich, rich man wanna be king, and the king ain't satisfied til he rules everything." 

Well, I'm not poor...but I'm not rich...and I don't control anything, really...so I've got a lot of work to do according to that. 

So when I get home I kind of sit and think about what the fix will be tonight to get me out of the funk temporarily. You may recall I wrote about taking car rides and listening to meaningful music...well this week it has been revisiting some favorite movies. 

I have chosen film noir this week, with Out of the Past and Sunset Boulevard. 

There are hints of comedy in these, but they are moody and end with crappy deaths. Sounds like what my obit will probably be like, right? Hey - as long as it's quick I don't much care how I go. I'd hate to be remembered as unfunny, though. 

I had drinks with a good friend last night - hadn't gotten to see her a lot recently. Allergy/cold/funk was forgotten. 

Surrounding ourselves with people we love is probably the quickest fix to a funk. 

It's also the challenges we put before us. If I don't challenge myself to be happy when I get home then how the hell can I be? 

I'm pumping out these blog posts as much as I can because it's completely OK to reward ourselves with a sense of accomplishment when we do something that may warrant it. I'm putting something on paper (in digital land - or a "series of tubes" as former Sen. Ted Stevens would say) and letting anyone who may wish view my work (that number is admittedly small, but hey - I'm trying to carve a niche here, get off my back!). 

I'm going to push forward with these rants until I develop a consistent rhythm that will allow me to expand into different topics. 

Look for topical editorials or reviews or anecdotes in the near term. I hadn't done any creative writing for years so I am going through these exercises (thumping on and on about "forward thinking" is the main one) to get myself back into the swing of things. 

I think the two short stories I've written display my branching out abilities - of course they're incredibly similarly themed and one was derived from a Bruce Springsteen song (an incredibly loose derivation, but a derivation nonetheless). I pushed myself to progress. 

I also recognize I am at the limits of the ridding-myself-of-angst essays. Gotta get out this funk. 

Once and for all. 

The writing funk, that is. 

I - just like all of you - am going to have the funk-battles eternally. (Sounds like something James Brown was doing in the 60s/70s, doesn't it? "Funk-battles")

While I may change topics and branch out with other types of writing, I'm going to be battling that inner angst, funk, whatever you want to call it. 

The unknowables are what keep us from being some sort of Stepford life form. If we were conscious of the fact that we are happy, what the hell are we going to strive for?

Of course I'm happy, but I'm not 100% happy. You gotta strive for something. That's why passion exists. That's why we fall in love. 

And out of love. 

And in again. 

You keep on dreaming. You keep on writing. You keep on working. You go on the job interview, because you gotta keep your options open. 

How do we keep doing this? Who the hell knows? 

Just keep the fire burnin'. 

Maybe that's why I perspire so much. The flames on this baby are as high as the tallest mountain, and I carry it with me everywhere I go. 

Scott.