The Tellyvision Man

(If you encounter a word that is ALL CAPS that means I'm shouting in an exaggerated, televangelist tone. Actually, this whole post should be read in an exaggerated manner, and the ALL CAPS words should be ridiculously loud...kind of like me in real life). 

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I have an agenda tonight. 

An agenda of RIGHTEOUSNESS!

I want you to come with me to the PROMISED LAND and experience all the glory that is BEAUTY on the HORIZON!

You see, there was this little, little man, on the TELLYVISION! 

HEEARRTTLAAANNDDD type talk show guy, I'm talking here! 

This little man, he has some ideas for the GGREEAATTT state of Ohio...

But do not be fooled...this man, he ain't little!

He is mighty in the minds of MANY, however WAYWARD they may be! 

But there's this other man. With a loyal band of, what shall we call them...yes, I know what to call them...

THE MAJORITY POLITICAL PARTY OF OHIO, the DEMOCRATIC ONE! 

The one of inclusion! 

The one that doesn't care if you're black, white, gay, straight, poor, downtrodden, disenchanted, liberal, moderate, conservative, male, female...we even are pretty loose on the INCOME TAX REQUIREMENTS!!!! 

It's the ROCK AND ROLL party of Ohio...

It's the FUN TIMES party of Ohio...

It's the GETTIN' THE BALL ROLLING on FIXING the PROBLEMS OF THE PAST party of Ohio...

It's the WE'RE GONNA DEAL WITH THE UNCONSTITUTIONAL EDUCATIONAL FUNDING FORMULA INSTEAD OF RAKING THE PROBLEM UNDER THE COALS LIKE THE SENATE HAS BEEN DOING FOR YEARS AND YEARS AND YEARS party of Ohio... 

It's the party of Appalachia's own TTTEEEEDDDDDYYYYY STRICKLAND!!!!

I can promise you this - there will be a tremendous battle between two TITANS, and one of them will go back to the TELLYVISION and the other will go back to doing the PEOPLE'S WORK! 

I SMELL A FIGHT, AND WE AREN'T ABOUT TO BACK DOOOOOWWWWNNNN. 

HAVE FUN MR. TELLYVISION/LEHMAN BROTHERS MAN, YOU'LL SOON GET A NICE VACATION FROM ALL THE CAMPAIGNING....

The road to recovery is near - DON'T TURN BACK NOW....

I CAN SENSE THE HOPE, CAN YOU???!!!!

Scott.